Upsy Daisy

opportunistic thriving flowers and weeds in our backyard

I don't have a great reason for that title, other than as I sat here about to enter my first blog in a few months ... it just popped in my head.  And I thought - I like that.  So for whatever reason, I am sure there is a metaphor in there somewhere... there is my title.

And here is another big ole catch up blog post.  It's Labor Day, and I have a few hours to myself.  I realized how far away from each event I was getting and I was worried that I would both forget the feelings behind the event and just become more overwhelmed by the prospect of catching up that I had really better just sit my ass down and do it!

So - first, the Olympic horse and my SD client.  I was within a week of going to London - even had my flight booked (that ticket email will probably be saved forever).  I was going to be going on my own, no Mario, and I was freaking out.  I even said "this just doesn't happen" - meaning, a lowly lil trimmer going to London to trim THE U.S. hopeful horse for the Olympics.  Sadly - my words came true, and it *didn't* happen.  I found out on the 4th of July that the gig was up for me, the team farrier was called in by the team vet to have the horse shod.  Interestingly, although I was disappointed, I wasn't devastated.  I knew that we had done the best we knew how for him, and the owner of the horse sent a super nice email thanking us for everything we did do and even said she felt he would not be going at all if not for the work we had done prior with him.  Mario and I got up at 3, 5 and 6am to watch them ride in the 3 different tests, snuggled together with the pugs in our bed around his borrowed iPad with live streaming.  I cried during each one.  They were the highest placed U.S. pair and even though there were uncharacteristic bobbles, especially the last ride, they were still a site to behold... relaxation, fluidity, partnership.  It was what dressage is supposed to be, to me, and I still pinch myself that we were involved at all, in any way.

The King, regarding me.  :)

Our time with R, the horse, is not over however!   He has been retired to norCal to his owner's beautiful facility, and we were asked to continue to trim him.  We have already been flown up there once (we also took over the owner's other horses) and I got completely emotional when I first saw him standing there in the cross ties, giving me that same regal, noble and king-like look.  He is completely barefoot now, and there is a small bet made with S (my SD client whose husband rode the horse) and the team vet and farrier -- that this horse will be totally sound in a year's time -- and totally barefoot.  :) 

the amazing view from atop Two Trees above Ventura, looking out over the Channel Islands

In the end of June Mario and I celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary.  We had a few days off and called it a staycation, where we got together with friends for dinners and drinks, went out to dinner ourselves, saw some live music, etc.  We even hiked up to 2 Trees in Ventura, something we have talked about doing since 1994 when we moved here!   It was a super steep, physically demanding hike, and neither of us were really fit enough for it!  But the weather was perfect (!) and once up there... wow... such a gorgeous view!   So worth it, and we were so glad that we did it.  We also went to Santa Barbara with the pugs and walked around our actual wedding site and along the promenade and beach.  It's been years since we have done that, and it was so cooool to be there again and we did a lot of reminiscing.  :)


Fertility wise... what to say about that?  I have had some emotional struggles with it, I can't lie.  I had a particularly bad couple of weeks not too long ago... my cousin Alison had her baby boy, my friend/fellow trimmer Miranda had her baby girl, and my other cousin Rebecca announced that she is pregnant with her 2nd.  I felt like everywhere I looked, everywhere I went, everything I SAW -- was about mother's, babies, pregnancy, fertility... but I felt like the underlying theme was "...but not for you". 

I still have not gone back to Dr. Sunshine for the WTF.  Although he said he would go whenever I want, Mario has been against it.  He feels like it will just be a punishment to hear the dr. say what we already know... that the odds are greatly against me with my age and medical situation, that IVF is the only option but that it is very expensive and basically financially impossible at this point, etc., but yeah... you can keep trying as much as you want to and can handle it.  And I can't help but think about my history -- first time of trying when I was 28, I found out I had cervical cancer and had to have a cone surgery and a very painful LEEP.  Then all the time of ovulation predictor kits, hopeful pee sticks, herbal supplements, disappointment of trying on our own...  Then when I tried for more medical intervention and an IUI I got a horrible infection and extremely sick, in fact should have been hospitalized according to my Kaiser doctors after the fact.  Then the surgery, tubes had to be removed, making IVF my only option - and something I said I would never, ever do!  Then a surprisingly poor response to meds and a disappointing and expensive first IVF attempt.  Then the heartbreak of a miscarriage for the 2nd IVF attempt, with an unusually prolonged and emotionally exhausting delay in HCG numbers returning to normal, with painful and invasive procedures to end it.  It kind of just feels like I've come up against some major "no" walls with it all.  Kinda like someone is trying to tell me something!   And with the flow of life in other ways seeming to stear me away from considering it further... I think I am officially learning to accept that this is my hand this time around. 

But check back in a couple more weeks, I might tell you I feel different.  I think this is how this process goes... for certain not linear in any one direction for very long.

Baby Connor Gilmour Zuleger ~ welcome to the world!

And I am so HAPPY for my friends and cousins!!   Alison and Jeremy's baby boy Connor was born a bit early but is sooo cute and we are so excited to meet him and get to see the new Zoo crew as a family!  They also bought a house and had an anniversary - they are busy!  ;)

Rebecca and Richard had a scare with regards to the health of their baby (which, I am calling it now, is a girl) ~ but it turns out she is indeed healthy and just working on keeping her parents on their toes already. 

My friend Miranda's little girl is precious and as expected she is finding it nearly impossible to do anything but stare at her and dote on her.  Her middle name is Raven, after her beloved horse that passed away similar to how I lost my mare Hope.  If I had a girl, her middle name was going to be Hope.  So...sigh... it is fitting to me that she chose the same route with her little baby. 

I (re)joined Weight Watchers.  At my recent heaviest, I was about 15 lbs heavier than my previous heaviest weight.  Yikes!!!  It was sooooo time for a change.  We both felt like we had been doing some major emotional eating over the last year or so, and it seemed like no matter how determined I was... I never really made that big internal change that has to take place for me to go on a diet and mean it.  Being around my new, very fit clients, was really motivating for us, and then I was talking to Mario about WW and he was like - why don't you just do that??  You can load it on your phone and do it while working, etc.  For some reason, that thing that had to click for me - did.  I wish I knew what the eff it was, so I could always be in touch with it.  HA!  But the next morning I downloaded the program to the iPhone, re-joined the site and paid my first month's dues, and headed out to the grocery store for some healthier choices in food!   So far (2 weeks!!!)  I have lost 8 lbs!   The first week was 6lbs, totally unprecidented for me (I am typically a very slow gainer/loser).  I have eaten WAY healthier in the last couple of weeks, with tons of fresh veggies and fruit, far less cheese and bread, nothing fried, lots of water and homeade green iced tea with organic mint.  I am really, really, really looking forward to the continued weight loss and increased health.  I know being lighter will be much easier on my back for work, too.  When we have a bit more money, I plan to start doing pilates classes.  It will help my core for both work and riding, as well as overall fitness.

Faith and Jordan trotting through the sunbeams in one of the turnout areas at the new barn

We moved the horses to a new barn on August 1st.  I have been ready for a change in my own horse world for awhile, and the time had come to make the change.  The old barn was good for where we were at the time mentally and what the horses needed physically.  But now I wanted a place where I could get back to dressage lessons, and an environment that was open to both what I do (dressage) and what Mario does (more western/trail/mosey ;)).  We found Canada Larga, and it fit the bill.  Only about 5 minutes further away, but with a nice dressage trainer, 2 covered arenas - a luxury totally new to me!!! - and thousands of acres of trails.  It also provides grass hay and feeds lunch, which were 2 things I didn't have at the old barn (I had to buy my own hay so they could have grass).  The drive back is 4 miles of gorgeous big rolling hills dotted with cows.  Since moving there we've seen cows, deer (rare for our area), tarantulas, sheep, wild pigs, hawks and bats.  There is also a free ranging herd of goats that is just adorable!!  The lead wears a bell and I love hearing the tinkling as she moves along through the brush, the little mommas and babies and bachelors bobbing along behind her.

Goaty road block at the cattle guard gate.  The white one in the front with the horns is the one that wears the bell.

The horses were nutso when we moved them.  It was stressful for me to hear Faith and Jordan screaming at each other in a total panic if they perceived some kind of separation, Jordan charging his other neighbor aggressively to "protect" Faith from the other side of the fence, Faith freaking out when the cows moved around on the hills, etc.  Each time I took one out, the other one carried on ... Jordan screams incessantly, and Faith would pace frantically.  I couldn't decide which was worse!!  But, each day it got a bit better and I just tried the best I could to not let it get to me too much.  I started riding Jordan and he was super spooky in the new arena...but each time in there I feel like we make a teeny bit more progress, maybe 1% sometimes - but progress is progress as Mario always says!  Now I throw Faith some hay before I take Jordan out and she seems to be doing well.  Jordan still screams while Faith is gone but it is more like every 5-10 minutes rather than every 2 minutes. 

One of the beautiful male peacocks at the new barn

I have been riding 3-4 times a week for the last few weeks, which has been awesome!!  I will start riding Faith next... right now, each day feels like a new milestone.  I hope to start taking lessons this month.  I don't have any plans to show, I just want to develop the relationship with my horses and get us all fit again.    We don't currently have any clients at this new barn, and have turned down a couple already... it is pretty nice to NOT have any there and have it just be a sanctuary.  The nights have been so beautiful there... warm moonrises over the mountains... we have brought wine and sat in the chairs watching the horses eat and just feel ourselves unwind.  There are peacocks there, too!  This weekend Lou, the barn manager, brought out farmer's market fresh carrots, tomatoes, cucumbers and olives sprinkled with sea salt and shared them with us over wine and conversation.  I soooo missed that social aspect of a barn!  

Mario and Nala the day we brought her home!

I love it there, and now it is even better because we brought Nala home on Saturday!  She is a really special horse, she handles everything with such cool... and my horses love her already too.  It was funny, her first night there a woman from 2 hours away visiting the ranch recognized her from her old barn and was saying that she had photos on her phone of Nala as her screen saver!    Everyone who meets her loves her.  I am now trying to put the Sossity touch on her with improved diet -- I would like her to gain some weight and shine, and grow out some itchy allergy spots, etc.  Mario loves just being with her, the other day he exclaimed that now he realizes how so many hours at the barn can go by so quickly... and how happy she makes him by just being around her.   Yeah, that's a good horse!! 

Nala stretching her legs and catching some air

Turtles riding the Gulf Stream

Do you remember the scene in the movie Finding Nemo, where the sea turtles are riding the Gulf Stream, being carried along in the fun and exciting flow of the current ... and they are laughing and digging on the thrill of the ride?

That is how I feel right now!  Ok - to be honest I feel a little more like Marlin when he first wakes up after the jellyfish incident, and he's hanging on to the turtle's back and kind of freaking out.   Eventually he relaxes and goes with it like the baby turtles, knowing he is safe and realizing it is actually FUN.   I hope ... plan... to get to the point where I am riding it gleefully.  :)

Since we last spoke, lots of good stuff has happened.  My therapist told me how when you are in the flow of the universe, things happen 'easily' and come to you with synchronicity and opened doors .. and Mario told me that you must be brave enough to walk through them as well!

The flow has been such a nice contrast to the struggle, sickness and strain of the last year +.

We had a student come and stay with us from South Africa again.  Her name was Jana, and we had a great week working with her and teaching her our approach to trimming.  We had some good laughs, drinks and meals (around our new table!) and really enjoyed hearing about life in such a different world - and yet the similiarities in the horse world were interesting as well.  SA is behind the US as far as natural hoof care goes, but that kind of makes it more exciting for the practitioners who are bringing it to their barns. 

Shortly after that my friend Leslie and her daughter stayed with us for a few nights.  Her daughter is moving to Hollywood/L.A. from Brooklyn, and she was helping her move and find an apartment.  It was a nice change to hear someone impressed by how much apartment they could get for their money -- apparently Hollywood is cheaper than NY.  Again we had a great visit!   Leslie is also a founding and board member of PHCP like me, and a member of the AHA as well.  AND she's a dressage rider so she was really excited to hear all about my San Diego client and everything going on there.  We also had good eating and drinking around the table.  ;-)

I was asked to be the client of the month for the boots that we use on our client horses.  I don't want to name names and put links here only because I don't want this blog to show up in public searches for the boots, for example, or for some of the people involved... so I am going to leave that out, but I can email it to anyone that wants, and I already posted the article link on Facebook.  It highlights our trimming business and thoughts on hoof care, booting, etc., plus a couple of photos of me riding and trimming.  There are hundreds (thousands?) of people that see that article and interview, and I've already gotten some emails from people that saw it that want to receive my monthly newsletter.  The company also asked me if I would consider doing articles for them in the future, which would be awesome.  You all know I like to write.  :)

My San Diego area client (we can call her "S") added two more horses to our schedule, a beautiful imported mare and a black gelding with the same breeding as my Jordan.  AND she had us start to trim her husband's Olympic horse.  We thought it would be a temporary (but still thrilling and unprecedented) event before he was shod for the games.  Then it came to be that we would continue to trim him and he might go in the specially fit boots that Mario made for him.  Then it became that he would go in a custom hybrid boot/shoe that the president of the boot company was making for him.  He (we can call him "G") flew out from CO and we met him down there last weekend (our 3rd weekend in a row going down...).  We had a great visit, the horse really liked the boot/shoe and I got to watch S ride the horse in them.  It was like a private showing of an Olympic athlete, and was surreally wonderful for me to witness up close and personal.  At one point Mario and I were literally standing in the middle of the arena and she was riding around us.  Not many people get that kind of opportunity!!! 

Me, S on R, G

In addition to this, we may be flown to NJ to the team HQs to trim the horse before he goes to the games.  I grew up not too far from there and went to watch the upper level events where my horse friends and I would gawk at the horses and the beautiful facility.  When I was a barn manager at the FHRC, I used to ride Hope over to the HQ on a trail ride... again, never would I have imagined or believed I would be going back there some day.. to work on a horse of that caliber.  Amazing...

Or, we may be going to London to do the horse!  That is actually how it is looking right now, but things are changing minute to minute so I don't know how it will all pan out.  Just in case, I am trying to get a passport... they aren't something you get quickly, apparently, and I am not totally confident that I'll be able to get it on time.  I had to have stuff faxed, notarized, FedEx'd, blah blah.  We'll see??

After our trip down last week, G called me on Monday and invited us to his personal home in CO, where he was gathering a group of who's who in the booting and trimming world for a think tank meeting of sorts.  I am already going to Northern CA this Fri-Sun for a clinic and board mtg (any trips away blow up our trimming schedule) and tickets to CO were ranging from $500-$600.  Ugh... But we figured we were going to make it happen somehow, when S called me and said she would cover my ticket with her FF miles.  (S is not going to CO herself though).  I was completely floored!!!  So through her generosity and belief in me, I'm going to CO next week for a few days.  I *wish* Mario could go with me, but we still need someone to hold down the fort of dogs, cats, horses, trim clients and auto magic clients... But if we go to London, you can bet your bippy that he is going!  Can't miss such a once in a lifetime opportunity.

S also invited Jordan and I to her place for a few days of lessons with her.  What an awesome opportunity - another door to be walked through!  She also said she wants to have a friend of hers who is a writer for a big dressage magazine, write an article about hoof rehabilitation and performance, and interview us and have us come down and do photos for it, etc.  She said that there are so many people like her, who thought there was no answer for their lame horse, that could benefit from this being brought in front of them through the well respected magazine and with the type of evidence that we will have by then... successful rehabilitation and showing at the uppermost levels.

And finally, although far from least, it seems that the Gargiulo's are adding another equine to the family.  It isn't official-official but pretty darn close... Mario is getting a horse!!!   Nala was a client horse for the last year or so, a sweet draft cross of some kind - unknown heritage, but such a good girl!   She is a true "husband horse" in that she is calm and honest.  Mario says she has more woah than go, which is what he likes.  :)  She came available briefly a few months ago, but we had so much happening that we hesitated, and she was 1/2 leased out in the meantime.  This time when she came up for sale again, her owner contacted us and Mario jumped on it.  She is still being leased but Mario can keep her where she is during that time, take lessons from the trainer there and learn some more riding basics, have 1/2 her expenses covered, and give us some time to get through everything we have happening with trips and whatnot.  After that she will come to our barn and be introduced to Faith and Jordan.  :)

Nala, in all her cuteness!!!

THREE.

My beta today was 3.  THREE.  I am officially, finally, nearly 6 months later ... not pregnant. 

So busy!

Well Miss Bailey made it through the surgery fine, thank you God!!  She was very sore for the first couple of days, even with the pain meds, and would stand kind of hunched over and was very subdued.  I was supposed to keep her quiet and no jumping on or off furniture, running, etc.  At first it was really easy, but now that she's recovering it's a bit more difficult!  But her stitches look good to me, and she seems comfortable and pretty much back to her usual puggy self. 

The stone analysis came back as being a struvite stone, which from what I've read means that it was probably caused by the bladder infection, not the other way around.  All of the pets are now on filtered water and Bailey is on a *month* of antibiotics.  We have the dogs on a prescription diet per the vet, but they both started itching like crazy only a couple of days in after starting it.  I tried to do some research on that... I have come to be very suspicious of veterinary nutrition advice after my experiences in the equine side of things!  :-/  The prescription dog food is high in fat and sodium and has a lot of corn in it.  Umm - how is that good for them??  My plan is to finish out the bag for Bailey only, to make sure we get her pee ph lower, and while she's on the antibiotics.  After that I will switch her back to Wellness, and we will keep adding wet food and water to it so we are sure she gets more fluids.  As best I can tell, making sure she doesn't get more bladder infections is the key to her not getting any more stones!

Lily blooming in our backyard.  Everything is
absolutely gorgeous everywhere you look
~ spring has definitely sprung!

At the same time as the situation with Bailey, Mario got really sick.  He was totally down for the count for 2 days and struggling along for a couple more.  He felt better over the weekend, and then lost his voice on Sunday, coughing and hoarse today. 

At the same time as the situation with Bailey and Mario, my car was repeatedly not starting and needing to be jumped.  This has been going on for awhile at a sporadic rate, and then more recently it was dying roughly once a day.  Today while Mario went to Santa Barbara for work, I took the car to the shop to be looked at and walked home.  That was not in my schedule for the day, as I have 5 horses to catch up on that fell behind the schedule, and I wanted to go in and get another (final?!) beta draw.  That will have to wait until tomorrow. 

And finally, last night when Randy came by to watch the game with Mario, a pipe broke in the kitchen wall... water spraying everywhere inside the sink cabinet and the wall.  They turned off the water to the whole house, and Mario was up at the butt crack of dawn to go to Home Depot and get some stuff to try to temporarily fix it.  It worked, we were able to take showers this morning, and he is going to try to replace the whole pipe asap.  To be honest, though, we need to get the entire house re-piped, as the plumbing is from around 1950.  That's what - 7-10k?  Urrmm... yeah, not sure how that will happen.  We might need to do it one pipe at a time for the next 10 years. 

Flowers in a vase at Buttonwood winery

We did go wine tasting on Sunday for Stephanie's 40th birthday, and that was fun and a nice little getaway.  We went to almost all new wineries to us - Buttonwood, Roblar and Tres Hermanos.  We had lunch at Roblar, including apricot stilton and crackers, chocolates, goat cheese cheesecake and goat cheese sea salt caramels.  I tried not to go totally overboard with the eating but it was hard!!  Mario and I stopped at Los Olivos Wine Merchant & Cafe for an early dinner before heading home, and it was delicious as always.  I had a salad = good for diet.  I had baked brie = bad for diet.  So far the pounds lost in over a month is only 3.  It's way too slow goin' and I need to step up my game.  Mario says once he can breath again (from his cold), that we will get back to the gym.

Setting up lunch at Roblar with the birthday girl

We are going to be having another guest from South Africa come and visit us for trimming mentorships through the PHCP.  She's arriving on Friday and staying with us for 4 days, should be fun and interesting.  It's always weird for us to have someone stay with us whom we have never met before, especially someone from another country... but so far it's been a great experience every time so I am hoping this will be the same!   I hope we have a shower for her to use.  :-/

Mario hugging "Big Ben" the 400 year old oak tree

Sossity hugging Big Ben

Bailey's stone...

My poor, sweet Bailey is going in tomorrow morning for surgery to remove the huge stone she has in her bladder.  It has caused an infection and is at risk for causing a blockage.  I am so worried for her... I can't stand to think of her in pain or afraid, or anything bad happening to her at all.  I *hate* this!!  Please think good, positive, healing thoughts for her tomorrow (and maybe some soothing thoughts for me please? ;-/)

The white oval above the little white arrow (to the right of the R) is the bladder stone they will be removing

Almost there...

yellow hibiscus blooming in our backyard

Today's HCG came back at 34!   We are soooo close... one more draw, next week, and we should be done with this!   That will be beta #16 if I counted correctly.  It has to be a record! 

This commences your update, as I am dealing with debilitating cramps all day today and just don't have the energy to post more.  But at least we are close!   The cramps probably signal the change in my chemistry ~ and that's a good thing, if I look at it that way.  Now where did I put that bottle of Advil...and wine?  With apologies to my liver.

Correction

Sorry i typed in the blog address wrong.  It should be:

http://thegargiulos.blogspot.com