The Yellow Bird

I received this gift in the mail from my sister, Tracy. Mario brought it out to the garage to me where I was making up bags of minerals for the horse's supplements. I looked at the padded envelope, confused. I didn't order anything...?? I opened it, and inside was this little brown box with a beautiful little bird on the tag, and a sweet note inside wishing me luck. What a sweet and thoughtful gesture, a lucky horseshoe necklace (with a heart!) from my big sister. Thank you!!!

But what Tracy doesn't know, is that the bird on the cover of the box was sweetly meaningful to me as well. Because I have this little thing, this sign, that is a yellow bird. It came to me to mean that I would get pregnant, that I should keep trying. I would see a yellow bird at certain times outside my window, on a trail ride, alongside my car on the road, or an image of one in a magazine or catalog. I had Rebecca make me a little bird in my custom prayer flags (more on those in another post!)

Over the summer a pair of yellow birds tried to make a nest in one of our palms. They tried and tried, bringing coconut grass over from the hanging pots, and squawking at each other as they tried to re-arrange things to make it work. But they were trying to build a nest under a floppy palm leaf, and it just wasn't suited to the task. Try though they might, they never succeeded in building the nest there, and eventually moved on to a better tree in a different yard. It was a kind of a sad metaphor for what I had going on with my fertility. Despite the best intentions and efforts, no baby was settling in for the season... Interestingly, to me, I never once saw a yellow bird during my previous IVF cycle.

But I've seen a couple yellow birds in the last few days. While putting on my makeup the other morning, I saw one reflected in the orange tree in my mirror. While trimming horses with Mario the other afternoon, a yellow bird repeatedly chirped and chattered with us while eating seeds off the flowering weeds beside the orchard. I take these sightings as a positive sign. I feel like Tracy's bird on her gift was a positive sign. That bird, in my mind's eye, is yellow! :o)

Nurse C, from Dr. Sunshine's office, called me today. Nurse C is my favorite nurse at the RE's office. By pure chance I missed her call as I packed the car with tools, and when I called back she was in a consultation and then was gone for the day when I called later again. But in her message she said Dr. Sunshine wants to proceed with a fresh cycle in December!! I just started my Nov. cycle, and that puts my Dec. cycle actually starting Nov. 30th. I should be going to ER right around Christmas, if things go roughly as I think they will!! I'll talk to Nurse C (nursey?) tomorrow and get more of the scoop, and report back.

For now, I am enjoying a drug /alcohol combo of Sugar Pie wine from TJ's ($5.99 for chocolate cherry red) and Advil. And feeling very blessed for the opportunities and gifts of love and family that I have. Thank you... :)