The game went into over time

So it's not over, it's not time to cry nor time for consolation wine... but it's too early to pop the champagne (err... sparkling apple cider). We basically got an unexpected ride around the roller coaster one more time!

I started the day by peeing on a stick at 4:21am, and it was the lovely "not pregnant" again. Mario got us breakfast and we talked, and I cried, because I got myself so sad that our embies had probably died. Aghhh... and also because I felt so lost when I thought of the possibility that all of my signs meant nothing... that they could all be wrong or just silly nothings I had put emotion and meaning behind. And I barely told you guys a fraction of all the many little things we counted as signs!! One of the actually funny ones was my iPhone's magic 8 ball app. Every time I asked it if I was pregnant, it came up with some kind of yes answer. It never wavered! And I had no idea there were so many versions of yes... "Outlook good", "you can count on it", "absolutely yes", etc. Last night I asked it again and it said some variation on yes. So feeling somewhat cynical, I then asked, "is the universe f-ing with me?" and it said "try again later". This morning after the 3rd negative pee test, I asked it again if the universe was f-ing with me, and it said, "Signs point to yes". I burst out laughing! Seriously - the universe DOES have a sense of humor. So I am crying/laughing with Mario and reach for a tissue out of the new box I just bought, which has water color owls on each side. Mario picks up the box to try to read what it says because there's text behind the owls, and I notice that one of the owls is yellow. WTF! I mean seriously... it's pretty funny isn't it?

So we go to the appointment and the nurse tries to tell me that home tests are not as sensitive and that's why they do blood work after all... I tell her I know that, trying to be hopeful still but somehow not get my heart broken. She says this is pretty much not possible. Good point.

On the way home from the dr's office I see a big 18 wheeler truck with a rearing pegasus on it. The image triggers a memory from the animal communication I did on Sunday. (I need to update on that, I had the woman 'talk' to Hope) The last thing the communicator told me was that she saw Hope grow these huge angel wings, and envelope me in a huge hug!!!!!!!!! OMG, I completely cried at the feeling and thought of that. Seeing the image made me think it was a sign from Hope... :')

So we go to work in Ojai, and just about an hour later I get a call from Dr. Sunshine's office... The nurse tells me that it DID come back positive, but that it was only 7.5. A test of 5 or less is considered "not pregnant". I barely squeaked by!! BUT holy crap... I squeaked by! As I was on the phone, the client had come up and was talking to Mario. I couldn't believe the timing and was willing her to go away so I could tell him the news. We exchanged eyeball glances but how do you convey what had just happened in googly eyeballs??? Finally she went to go get her other horse and I told him the situation... The nurse was very... I guess, grim, again, on the phone (even though it was a different nurse). She said implantation HAD occurred, but it was such a low number that it was very tenuously positive. They normally have you come back in 2 days, but she said it would be 4 for me. I don't go back until Tuesday!

Mario and I went straight to CVS after trimming and bought something like 6 more HPTs. I will probably test twice a day to see if I can get a positive on a pee test... that would mean my numbers are going up... I've read most early testing sticks will read as low as around 20 HCG, so that explains why my sticks could not pick up my 7.5! You want your beta numbers to double every 48 hours or so... so I might be able to get a positive on one of them in the next couple days???

C'monnnnn little embie... please be a sticky bun in this oven!!!!