Just an update

The trip to San Diego was overall good. The drive itself was sucky - we couldn't get out of town until afternoon on a friday, which meant we hit multiple accidents and traffic jams into L.A. alone. We had two stops to make, including one to drop off the Auto Magic van at a mechanic, and then shortly after one of the pugs peed on our suitcase in the backseat. Awesome. Got that all cleaned up and luckily it didn't leak through, and we finally got to Del Mar after about 4 or 5 hrs of driving. The pet friendly hotel was under construction and we got lost trying to find our room, but eventually got that figured out and checked us all in. We had reservations at a local beachfront restaurant thanks to our new client, which required that we leave the dogs in the room. We left them each with a sweet potato chip and quietly tiptoed around the corner and then spied on them through the windows and listened outside the door. Once we were satisfied that they were not howling (which they are known to do!) we hurried over to the restaurant for dinner, which was delicious. I had been having the flu like symptoms and stomach ickyness but was able to enjoy an excellent glass of viogner with a "mojito" prepared fish called turbot. (pronounced turbo)- the fish was extremely light and un-fishy, and was served with lime and mint, coconut rice and a side of carrots. The location was right on the water and we were able to watch the waves and busy Friday evening crowd before heading back to make sure our pups were behaving (which they were). We brought dessert back with us -- creme brulee and pomegranate mousse tarte.

Me and my chins with a young new client and his owner


After a terrible night sleep and my car battery being dead, we were able to get a jump from a hotel guest and head over to meet the client. I was a little nervous pulling in, but as soon as I met her my nerves quickly melted away... she was so nice and down to earth, and we seemed to be on the same page with regards to the horse's feet, their movement, diet, etc. It was a really pleasant experience overall. We got both horses trimmed and fit them for boots and pads, watched them move, talked alot, and then ended up being invited to lunch before heading back home. Lunch was delicious and we talked HOOVES the entire time, which is a favorite topic of ours, and so nice to have someone so well known and respected in her sport be so involved and knowledgable. I am hopeful and excited with how her horses are doing so far according to updates.



We drove back to L.A. and met our friend/fellow trimmer Jennifer and another mutual friend for dinner. (by now the dogs were pooped and were quiet sleeping in the car while we ate, but I still ran out to check on them as soon as I could) By the time we actually got HOME, I was deliriously tired.

The next day was my 40th birthday. I got a massage in the morning, then we went to visit the horses. That night we had our friends Stephanie, Nick and Randy over for a glass of wine before heading to dinner. The wine we opened was a 12 year old syrah from Artiste winery that I had actually bought years ago while wine tasting for a friend's bachelorette weekend (in which we stayed at an inn, went wine tasting and brought our horses and took lessons each day -- soooo fun). Somehow this bottle survived over a decade in this high wine consumption rate house, and we were not sure if it would be vinegar considering our less than ideal storage. Luckily it was not vinegar, and in fact was amazingly good. The much younger zinfandel we had at dinner was also excellent. I felt like the good wine did me some good, as I felt totally fine the next day (aka no awful flu feelings like before).

The artist that painted the image on this 12 year old bottle of Artiste syrah lost his father at a young age. He painted a series of paintings depicting what he imagined his father would have been like could he have lived his full life. I thought it was appropriate to open the bottle on a milestone birthday such as this, and enjoy it and not wait any longer.

I ordered this wine with dinner based on the name -- and was surprised by the beautiful hummingbird image on the front. Plus, it was yummy.

two 40 year olds!!

Last Thursday we went to my mom's for a birthday dinner and gifts, and got to meet her super cute new puppy, Lilo. I am really glad she has another dog in her life to love and care for - and be loved and cared for back.

Lilo and I. She is tinier than she looks in this pic.

My most recent follow up beta (that's $400 in betas in case anyone is counting) was 1,000, which the nurse said was slow but obviously going down. I am supposed to be going back in weekly but I am pushing it out a few extra days because I don't need to go any more broke for this. So I will go back some time the end of this week probably.

Emotionally we have both been struggling. Due to taking time off of work, we have a really busy couple of weeks - we are currently a few days in to a 16 day straight schedule. In some ways this is a blessing, to be able to just concentrate on working and not think too much... but we do end up talking about "it" all the time. They are not easy conversations, and we haven't been having an easy time of it.

My age - at 40 years old I am considered both advanced maternal age and high risk, my diagnosis - DOR or diminished ovarian reserve, coupled with no tubes, means IVF is the ONLY option (frustratingly a lot of people seem to forget that) and with only a roughly 17% chance per cycle, and our financial reality (100% out of pocket/no fertility coverage and a completely depleted savings) feels like a triple threat with a rapidly, if not already closed, door. It is taking the time it will take for us to move through all of the emotions related to this - because it wasn't just a failed cycle, a negative, or a loss.

But... we have each other, and we will be OK.